My sweet Pocky

 It has officially been 24 hours since my dog pocky passed away. I had him for 12 years. 12 loving years of my life. I knew he was getting old and especially having diabetes (which he died of complications from it) I knew that I would have to say bye one day. I just honestly wasn't ready. I didn't want to have a life without him. When the emergency vet gave me the options of 1. put him to sleep or 2. pay 10k and try everything they can to save him including keeping him in the hospital for up to a week, with the chance of him still passing. I still chose 2. I couldn't even bear the thought of putting him to sleep. I was balling my eyes out. Not only was I balling my eyes out, I took it out on my instagram stories and poured out my grief for everyone to see. I didn't expect to, but it felt like I needed to put my grief somewhere because it was all too overwhelming for me to deal with.

When I signed the papers and came home I received another call from the vet telling me he had passed. That's when I truly lost it. I went back to see him for the last time and collect his shirt he was wearing and receive a refund, but I was gone. I honestly did not think it would hurt this bad. I wasn't prepared for it. I've had pets all my life growing up. I've lost them along the way ( i love them all just as much), but with Pocky, we were together for 12 years. He wont come see me when I come home, or lay down and roll over for belly rubs anymore. I don't know how to be me without him, and while that sounds crazy dramatic, it's how I feel. I loved that dog so deeply, and even though it's been 24 hours. Tears still keep coming out of my eyes at any given time, and I cant control it either.

After everything that happened and I cried myself to sleep, I woke up to over 100 messages on instagram from everyone. From people I've never talked to, from followers, from friends, family. All sharing words of comfort and sending me so much love. That has never happened before, and as horrible as I was feeling, I felt insanely comforted by a community of amazing people. If I could hug everyone I would. Thank you for making my grief feel bearable for just a moment. Last night at 9pm my mom came over and saw that I was laying in my bed in darkness and she called me baby (something that she hasn't done in a very long time) and told me that we gave him the best life possible and that everyone was happy with him for 12 years. I understand that now, I was just so overcome with grief. I still can't deal with it and it still feels so heavy. I feel a little bit ok today but it still hurts. I just wanted to lay this all down for me to remind myself one day, just how much I loved him.

 Dear Yuka,

It's so crazy, but I'm so happy you visited me in my dreams last night. It was so nice to see you again. I honestly haven't thought about you in awhile, and it's not that I have forgotten you, I've just been busy focusing on just moving forward with my little shop, with life, with everything.  But last night I saw you in my dreams, almost as if you were visiting me. You said Hi I've missed you.  Which is what you said the last time we spoke to each other on the phone. I hope you're doing well. I'm sorry I didn't go to your funeral, I couldn't go :( My sister just had a kidney transplant and her recovery didn't go as smoothly, so I've been cooped up inside the house trying not to catch anything to possibly bring it back. I hope you understand. I thought about you often afterwards. I will always treasure our friendship! I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I am so happy that you visited me last night. I have no one to tell this to, so I am writing this on my abandoned blog, just like back in the days when we hung out all the time. THE XANGA DAYS hehe. Visit me again soon. Thank you for your friendship. I hope heaven is poppin for you lol. Fly high my angel.

                                                                                                                        Love you always.

                                                                                                                            Seriya

                                                                                                                         

welp it's 2019 now lol

I really do want to keep my blog updated but ever since black friday hit my shop has been crazy busy (I am so grateful for thissssssssssssss you don't even know!!) My turn around time has hit it's highest and I am currently trying to fight against it. Other than that things have been the same. Spending days with my doggos and my boyfriend. Working and binge watching so many tv shows. Currently binge watching daria right now. I love the 90s and anything retro. I plan on binge watching my so called life next. I wonder if anyone else loved that show too. Maybe I should make some my so called life stickers!! Other than binge watching things have been ok. Drifted apart from some friends, even though I have tried to make it work. It's a little sad to see that having no time can rip people apart but that's part of life I guess. I prefer friendships that understand that sometimes life can get really busy, but you guys can pick up right where you left off.

I also moved my bed into my closet earlier this year! There was no space in my room. When you work from home it's so hard to feel motivated with a small workspace and just trying to maneuver around my room I would always walk into the corner of my bed and hit my knee on it. It hurts! I'll post a picture of the before and after in the next blog post. For now I am going to go work on orders and watch some daria. I noticed people do still check up on my blog even though I haven't posted since October lol Hello to you guys! Hope all is well.

<3

the consistency didn't last very long LOL

Well my last post was during hot hot hot July. It's cooling down now in October. My dreams for wanting to have a diary space of my own and post in it at least 2 times a week died 😂I'm not sure what happened but my store traffic increased like crazy and being the only person working it was hard to find time for anything. I am still holding all the happy mail I owe to my friends hostage in a storage box in my room. I need to mail those out ASAP. I feel so bad lol. I told one of my friends that I would start updating my blog again so before I forget here is a quick little post to remind myself that this sweet little space is here for me. I have 1 more night of overnight orders and then I will have a little more free time. After that I will update for myself and for anyone want pops on by!

I am melting

It has been crazy hot here in Los Angeles. It just came out of nowhere! Most of the summer days lately have been ok, maybe reaching about 90 degrees (32c) the highest, but yesterday it hit 105 (40c) and today it will be 112 (44c). I HATE IT! lol I don't like hot weather at all. My absolutely favorite seasons are fall and winter. I can't just pick one. Both of them are my favorite. I love the weather during fall and how crisp the air is. Especially on nights like  Halloween. It's not that cold but it's cold. That makes no sense but it's the only way I can describe it. Then winter comes and it's colllld. Granted not as cold as the east coast or anything but cold for California standards lol. I have never experienced east coast winters or anywhere else that wasn't here in Los Angeles, so when I complain that it's cold, my east coast friends and boyfriend will say "you don't know what cold is" and it's true I don't, but I know what my body knows, and it knows that winters in California make me cold. Cold enough for me to want to wear cute hoodies, jackets and scarves lol. Scarves are a little overboard, but they are cute. I like them lol! This year I'm going to be breaking out the berets and cute little peacoats. Not a heavy coat, because... California lol.

Last night we got Ice Cream and sat outside on the porch because it was just so hot. The weather was nice. It's a bit dark outside so I am thinking about getting some LED fairy lights for it. I think it will make summer nights much more enjoyable.

I am not ready for the heat today. It is only 8AM and I am already melting. I plan to turn on the air condition and pack orders the whole day and have a cold lunch. Not sure what to eat for lunch. I'm thinking korean cold noodles, or a salad. Nothing hot! lol I can't wait to get everyone's orders packed and my queue down to 0. I have a long list of things people have requested to be added to the shop. Backstreet Boys being one of them and that honestly sounds like it would be fun to add, even though I was an NSYNC girl hehe. I even went to their concert and saw them backstage of Jay Leno and got to meet Justin Timberlake. I was a hardcore fan girl LOL I met Nick Carter too but not by choice, just through a mutual friend lol Not that I don't appreciate backstreet boys. I was just such a NSYNC fan back then. Nothing tops my fan girling over Leonardo DiCaprio though. I lost my shit when he died in Titanic. 😂😂😂😂😂 My parents used to own a photo shop while I was growing up. Not the 1-hour kind of photoshop, but the kind where it had ektachrome film processing (which I heard is making a comeback this year) that was used for Slides, movie stills, magazines. They had 3 shop locations and each location ofc had different customers, but my parents knew all of the regulars by their names and treated them like family. Oscar night would be the biggest night and my dad would be working all night to get everything out. I remember one of the photographers had taken a bunch of leonardo pics that night. Titanic had just come out, and that photographer knew about my fan girling and asked my parents to make double of each print for me. I cried LOL It was such a precious gift to see that he wanted to make little me happy. I will never forget it, and now every time I think back to my leonardo phase I think of that photographer. I still have the pictures! Thank you!!

annnnnnnnnnnd now I am off to work. Goodye Journal.

Happy 4th!

It's quite hot today in Los Angeles. Perfect beach weather, although I honestly  haven't gone to the beach in many many years lol. Last night while doing orders I decided to order take out since I didn't have time to cook. I think I was allergic to an ingredient in the food and just started getting itchy and major body heat lol After a small nap everything was better. Having the itches in hot weather is no fun. I started the 4th of July sale half a day early yesterday. The amount of support for my shop is amazing. I feel so blessed. My favorite is when I am packing orders and people leave sweet messages. I honestly just get so overwhelmed with emotions lol I can't believe people like my shop. I am so grateful.

 Today I had tacos for lunch, and grabbed some nice iced coffee with Mama before she went out to celebrate 4th of July with everyone. I plan on staying home and watching a lot of thrifting videos and home decor stuff. I really want to re do my room. For the past couple of years I have just been in pure pastel mode. I still love pastel everything, but my taste in home decor is changing. Before I just decorated my room as pink and girly as I wanted because once I start to live with my boyfriend, I don't think  he's going to want to live in a pastel paradise 😂 Lately I have been loving plants, and the color yellow. Especially mustard yellow. I think my taste is headed towards boho vibes. Don't get me wrong I still want pastel everything for my planners and accessories, but home decor wise I am starting to fall in love with boho/thrifty stuff. I haven't had the time to go check out thrift shops and I also want to go to ikea, but once I do I'll post pics of before and after. One day it will happen! Maybe I'll still keep it a little girly. Boho girly. I like that.

Small stationery haul. I got these cute little notepads off of Aliexpress. I bought an extra one for my friend. I feel so bad. I have been keeping their happymail hostage. I am the worst penpal. I need to definitely make a note and send everything out soon. I also got  a Slurpuff pokemon card. I will always embrace my inner child no matter what age I am haha. I got it for my planner. Such a cute pokemon, and it's pink. I wanted it lol. Here are some random pics of my little haul and my super cluttered nightstand.

hello my blogger my old friend

I cannot tell you how much I have missed having a blog! Oh wait, I should introduce myself to whoever is reading this (even if it's no one). Hi my name is Seriya. People always ask me how to pronounce my name and the best way I can describe it is Seriya sounds like Maria. Sir-reeh-yuh 😊 I have always had a little spot on the internet just talking about my day, posting random pictures of my food, shopping adventures and etc. I ended up locking my old blog from about a year and a half ago. Last year my shop got crazy busy and I wasn't able to keep up with blogging, also I was going through all my old entries and noticed that I was more sad then I was happy. I tend to just post my feelings and what is bothering me at the time. I didn't really want to keep all of that out in public so I ended up locking that blog and will keep it for therapeutic purposes later on in life lol (like when I need to kick my own ass and read about how much stronger I am now)

I am much much much happier now. I had a string of things that had happened over in the last blog which had caused all those sad posts. From my own health problems (I'm ok now!), long distance relationship woes (lol we are going on 8 years strong), trying to make everyone happy (this is impossible), my sister having liver failure and is now on dialysis for the rest of her life,  just so much stress. Everything felt like it was crashing and so every post was just so... sad LOL. I know not every post here is going to be happy sappy, but a fresh new start is always great. I don't have a theme for this blog like reviewing stuff, or diy-ing or anything. This is just going to be my diary. I don't open up to people very much (curls into a small ball), but if you would like to get to know me, this is a good place to start 😄

Time for me to get my shop ready for the 4th of July sale. I really wanted to have it on the 4th but I have noticed people have started shopping early today and I know how it feels to buy something the day before and then a sale starts the next day and I am just like "whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" *shakes fist in the air*  so I want to get everything done as soon as possible! Then back to packing orders and watching netflix lol

I now leave you with a picture of this cute pudding I had last month.